Today I vow to living unmasked,
to speak answers from my heart,
to no longer squirm and hide,
morph into some palatable
and appropriate version of myself
for you to be comfortable,
whoever you are,
which meant, and I didn’t
know this at the time,
that I would have to sit
with my own discomfort
in fear of your judgement,
your rejections, your blame
or condemnation,
for simply being myself,
for standing naked before you,
this one who has shape-shifted
and chamelioned herself
for nearly 60 years into
appropriateness and palatability.
I see, now, how I have
homogenized myself,
made myself bland instead
of standing naked before you
as one who has wrestled
with unworthiness, battled
jealousy, gone to war with shame
and all the places of “not-enoughness.”
Oh, the exterior is a ruse,
the blonde, blue eyed, well-educated,
well-traveled, dancer, artist, writer,
teacher…and….
All of that is true too…
But today is a special day,
because to unmask myself
means to show you
the parts I’ve been hiding.